Tag Archives: when to disclose

How to tackle the dating scene with Herpes

Question: Ever since being diagnosed with herpes I left the dating scene completely, my gifter and I didn’t work out and I haven’t tried to talk to anyone since. I took a lot of time to better myself and believe I’m in a good place to get back out there but don’t really know how. Any advice or suggestions on how to tackle the dating scene with Herpes?

How to tackle the dating scene with Herpes:

    1. Join herpes singles groups or local  herpes groups of interest to start talking with people with herpes. Attend group events locally. Just a few suggestions. Good luck to you.

    2. Your not the only one I’m having the same problem too . But I’m trying . If you ever want to talk just message me we could become friends.

    3. You will do fine, just let thinks happen on it own. But make sure that you are honest with your partners. CDC.gov and ProjectAccept.org and some sites with very good information on std’s. Good luck, you will be fine smile emoticon.

    4.  I am on PositiveSingles.com 

    5. The best advice I can give is to just carry on as though nothing has changed. Get educated about what you carry with you though, because you must disclose this to anyone you intend to date. Put more energy into being creative and really trying to be the most pleasant, fun, and adventurous person to be around. Be yourself. Anyone worth your time will look past your diagnosis and see you as being worth any risk.

    6. Do exactly as 5 says and if you do try Positive Singles use it as one outlet. It is very hit or miss. I’m really enjoying Tinder. But very picky about whom I open myself up to so have not even had to disclose because I have not gotten far enough with someone to even need to have the talk. You get to be disearning about whom you let in. You deserve it and so do they! Good luck and have fun!!

    7. Own it. Don’t be ashamed about it. I find when dating I now just don’t jump straight into thinking what it would be like to get in bed with them. I’ve been able to really tell if they are even worth disclosing to. I whole heartedly believe I get to be the choosey one. When I meet a guy that’s worth my disclosure it comes out so much more confident, and 99% of the time it’s not a problem to them. Don’t act like its a death sentence and it won’t come off like that.

    8.  I’m rowing same boat as you- dating wise I have hope without expectations and I stay medicated to prevent possible outbreak-also I keep and plan on always using protection if sexual encounter occurs– as time passes and I feel miss right has my heart that’s when i’ll tell bout my condition- if u feel 4 months of dating someone before you tell them about your condition to long then am loss for words

    9.  I spent the first six months trying herpes groups and sites because I thought I had to find someone who had hsv2. Then I finally decided I needed to look for values and religion and other big deal things first and hope they’d accept me. And he did. I suggest you keep an open mind and try not to let the stigma limit your options in your own head. smile emoticon best advice I have is date as though you didn’t have herpes, but hold back on intimacy and get to know him. Then disclose when you’re ready.

So when to disclose? Obviously before sex. And prob best even before making out – just in case? Also, at first thought, part of me felt Iike I should disclose from outset. But now my thoughts are that its ok to wait until I know she’s even into me for sure and also get to know her a little. Might go out first time this Saturday but with other couples. I’d like us to get to know each other before having the talk but may be forced to have the talk depending on how things unfold. i.e. Would feel awkward turning away a kiss. Suggestions?

I think it depends on a lot of things. For me I have ghsv and not oral so kissing doesn’t worry me. Honestly if someone has oral hsv and no symptoms I’m not sure i would expect disclosure but it’s respectful. Personally I’m saving sex for a committed LTR and I chose to disclose after about two months because that’s when I felt sure enough I liked him but still could get over him if he considered it a deal breaker. Obviously if you plan to be intimate sooner you have to disclose sooner.
thx, yeah mine is ghsv also. But pretty sure I also have hpv as I’ve had a wart recently. Waiting on test result and I’m still learning but I think it can be transmitted orally?
I don’t know much about hpv I’m afraid. But if it can be transmitted orally you’d need to disclose before kissing. My fiancé told me he wanted to get to know me as a person before we started kissing, I was a little surprised but I also felt really respected. You could say something like that to buy yourself a little time to know them first. If someone doesn’t want to get to know you first they’re not the right person anyway. That works for guys too lol not just ladies